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Wednesday, October 01, 2008The Future of the Family
It seems harder by the day to build family foundations, especially in the fragile times in which we live. Just watch the news, look at the divorce rate, talk to neighbors, and it’s easy to see and hear about problem after problem.
So many issues come to mind when you think about the state of the family in our world today. Marriage, parenting, taking care of mom & dad, etc…
Join us each Sunday in October as we focus on matters of the family. Families come in all shapes and sizes, from blended families, single parenting, to the traditional way we think about home. We hope to touch on them all.
I believe that this day and time is the most difficult and most challenging time to do the family thing. But, the great news is, if we apply God’s Word, we can have a positive future ahead.
The same resurrection power that brought Jesus back from the dead is available for your family and mine. A simple question is, what are we going to do with the power?
So join this fellow struggler as we see what God says about the future of the family.
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008Oh to FORGIVE
Here is something that many of us can talk about, but when it comes to action it’s a whole other story. The idea of actually forgiving someone is tough even for the very best of us. When we talk about forgiveness, it often sounds like a passive agreement to let something go. It's about releasing blame and accepting that the action is done. It's about releasing anger. It's about releasing resentment. It's also about not bringing the act you forgave up over and over again like a weapon.
It’s so important to know that there is nothing passive about forgiveness. To forgive is to commit to an act and do it. Forgiveness is an action word.
Seeking forgiveness is also an action, it's not passive. When you seek forgiveness for your own actions or behavior, you have to demonstrate contrition. You have to make an effort to apologize and make amends. You have to work to create an atmosphere that does not allow those actions and hard feelings to create a chasm in your relationship.
In a healthy marriage, a couple can fight. In a healthy marriage, couples can disagree. Part of the reason you can do both of those things is that you can forgive in a healthy marriage as well. When you forgive, it's not just about letting your partner off the hook. It's about healing yourself. It's about letting go of revenge, anger, hurt and malice. Those emotions hurt you more than they hurt your spouse. They leave you feeling empty and ill.
So the next time your spouse is hurt by your actions, remember forgiveness is not passive - it's an action. When you think about Christ, He has forgiven us. He backed up His words with Action, all the way to the cross.
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008Divert Daily – Withdraw Weekly – Abandon Annually
(Come Sunday to find Out what this means)
This Sunday (September 21st, we continue our series called FAMILY MATTERS. This week we hit the differences between men and women. Don’t miss it. One thing we both need is to spend time together. This week I’ve planned a special date night for Giovanna & I. I can’t wait to spend some quality time together.
We talk about quality time constantly. It's the catchphrase of our generation. In our world we’re on the go, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and there's no guarantee that the family will be together at a meal time or on the weekends unless we really set aside that quality time.
Quality is how we want to describe the time we spend with our spouses. It's time we invest in together. It's a time to nurture our relationship. Quality time is about being together - not just in the same place, but also together mentally, physically and emotionally.
So think about this for a while. If you went out to see a movie together, I wouldn't call the time spent in the movie the quality time. I'd call the lunch before or after, or the coffee you discuss the movie over as the quality time. So if you leave the theater, get in separate cars and head in separate directions, I wouldn't call that time quality time. By the same token, if you both get in the same car, but one of you gets on the phone with a friend or family member and starts talking all about the movie with them - well, I think you can see where I am going with this.
We need to define what we mean by quality. We have to figure out what type of time spent together fulfills our lives. I know couples that spend their whole day together, working in the same office, but they never really talk. But if you ask them, they call it quality time, because they can turn their heads, see each other, reach out a hand and touch and there is a great deal of security that comes from being that close all the time.
Don't get me wrong, I know what it is to be busy and I know that we're a society that thrives on over-commitment - but we love our wives and families. It shouldn't be stress to make a commitment to quality time together – we just need to be making sure we’re on the same page as what defines quality time.
Remember to make time for some quality time!
See You Sunday
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Friday, September 12, 2008A 9/11 Lesson for us all
It’s hard to believe that it’s been 7 years since that very dark day on Sept 11, 2001.
When I think about the events of 9/11, my mind inevitably returns to exactly where I was and what I was doing. The phone rang. It was my dad asking if I was watching the news.
"No."
"Turn it on. I'll wait."
"What channel?"
"Any major one. I'm watching NBC."
"What's going on?"
"You have to see it to believe it."
I remember turning on the television at the church office.
This is where it gets fuzzy. The first building had been hit, but now I don't remember if the second one had already been hit or if I'd turned it on in time to see Matt Lauer and Katie Couric report about that one. I do remember I was watching as the Pentagon was targeted.
I was definitely watching as the Twin Towers fell.
What a truly awful day in our country. All the loves that were lost. Now, as I did that day, I think of all the couples who, like me, had kissed their loved one goodbye before they left for work that day. The goodbyes that many had no idea would be their last.
Did most husbands rush their kisses as part of a mundane morning ritual? Did wives, preoccupied with scooting the kids off to school or getting to work themselves, simply stick out a cheek to accept the kiss instead of taking the time to turn their heads and catch it with their lips?
How many couples skipped the kiss, because they were too busy and preoccupied with running out the door? How many took for granted they'd be back later that evening? That they'd have another chance for a kiss the next morning?
My hope is that we never take for granted each day given to us . That no matter how busy or chaotic, there's always time for a goodbye kiss. That I shouldn't take it for granted that I'll get a chance for another. So I remember, to never miss the chance, to lock lips with passion & love before parting with my wife each & everyday.
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Tuesday, September 09, 2008Sunday #1 Follow Up
Thanks to everyone who got engaged with the first message in our new series called “Family Matters.” By the response it has hit a nerve in us all. The family plays such a critical role in our lives, and that’s by God’s design. Sunday’s thrust was committing our lives to God, and putting HIM first place in our lives. God first and family second. Remember WHO you are committed to will determine WHO makes to rules in your life.
Q & A from Sunday #1
Thanks for the many text messages. For the sake of time & focus I will answer only a few each week.
Test Message – My family is falling apart more and more everyday. I feel so alone and no one to talk to.
First off, thanks for your honesty, and Gio & I are praying everyday for you & your family. I say it in church a lot, but I truly live it too. God gives us permission to come boldly to Him. In I Peter 5:7 is says, “cast your cares on God, because He truly cares for you”. NEVER underestimate the power of prayer. After that, communication is so important. Talk to your spouse, kids, family, friends, church family, etc… Know you are not alone in life. Satan wants us to truly believe that we are all alone, and NO ONE really cares. NOT TRUE!
Text Message - I am really scared about this series. My marriage ended very painfully. I don’t want to relive it, I guess I need reassurance.
Again thanks for your real honesty. Please, please please, know that my intention is to never cause anyone undue grief in a message or series. My thought process is to always look to the present and the future, knowing that nothing can be done about the past. Having said that, I know that it can be very tough sometimes to sit and listen to someone talk about a subject that brings back bad memories. So I guess I would like for you to think about a couple of things during this series.
First off, don’t bale if at all possible. I know it might be easy just to skip out of coming, but I really believe God can do something special in your life, by allowing Him to continue to heal some old wounds in your heart & mind.
Secondly, Pray for those who are now going through the very same things that you went through. As Christians, it’s so important to spur each other on, encourage one another in love. Ask God to use you in any way possible to help others see their way through.
Thirdly, look to the future. Gio and I have been and will continue to pray like crazy that God will draw close to you, and guide you to a brighter future than you can even think possible right now. Satan always beats us up about the past, but with God it’s all about the possibility about today and the future.
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Friday, September 05, 2008Stand UP 4 What Matters
Gio & I spent our Friday Evening watching Stand Up 2 Cancer on all the TV networks. What a great event to help raise funds to help find a cure to what so many Americans deal with each and every day. We spent the evening thinking of the many love ones that we've lost to this terrible disease. Remembering those who were so young, so loved, and still so missed in our lives.
It’s amazing when you watch something like that, read a moving story, or spend time talking with someone whose life has been changed forever with a diagnosis of disease. When you come to that point, what’s important? I mean what really matters in your life? For sure, the little things go away quickly, and the big things come to the front.
Big things! Relationships! God! Wife! Family!
So we should all take a stand. Stand up 2 cancer, stand up 4 a cure, stand up 4 life!
STAND UP 4 what really matters!
Posted By: Pastor Brent @ 8:51:46 PMTop
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Monday, August 25, 2008Good Stuff on Marriage
Some of the best marriage advice you will ever find comes from Christ Himself, 2,000 years ago. "Remove the log from your eye before trying to remove the splinter from someone else's." "Treat others how you want to be treated." "Consider the needs of others more important than your own." When you get down to it, God’s Word provides us the absolute best, real principles to live by. The Bible states the definition and purpose of marriage as two becoming one for help, companionship and procreation. If two people are to become one, some compromise has to be done.
The problems we experience are opportunities for us to identify what parts we need to compromise. You must be willing to sacrifice, to endure the pain and suffering of losing some of your old self (selfishness, insecurity, etc.) and learning to use new traits (gratitude, appreciation, patience, etc.).
Giovanna and I have been married 18 years. The first couple of years were a learning process. I would do something dumb or say something stupid; still do, occasionally. Then would be the “growth” time, at least it was for me. The moments of apology, the times of really getting to know each other on deeper levels, sometimes on roads guys don’t particularly like to go down. But each time it would be worth it. In our marriage it didn’t take long to start enjoying our differences, even our own weaknesses and each other's strengths. For me, each year brings its share of challenges, but from my point of view, they’ve all been wonderful, for her, maybe all but 3 years (just kidding).
I know now it’s not a technique, or rules, or something unique about us that keeps our relationship humming...it is God. Because God is intimately involved in it with us, we have a real, fulfilling, loving, joyful marriage, and so can you. But remember, it’s our relationship with God that keeps us focused & growing toward each other. We’ve learned that the closer we grow toward God, the closer we grow together as a couple.
Posted By: Pastor Brent @ 4:10:24 PMTop
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Monday, August 25, 2008Family Matters
It’s really no secret that many families today really struggle. It’s amazing to me to talk with people week after week about so many issues they face in just everyday life. Our goal over the next few months is to get real about marriage & family. Also, to ask some tough questions, and seek God’s direction & answers for our homes.
I know that the home is the battle ground today like never before. Satan wants to mess us up at home, because he knows that when our home life stinks everything else stinks.
My Wife, Giovanna & I want you to journey with us. We will take time each week to try and answer some of your questions about marriage & family. Our hope is that you get a sense of our home life, and how we deal with issues all of us face.
So post comments if you like, ask questions if you need to, but always check back every few days to see what’s’ going on as we journey together through FAMILY MATTERS. Posted By: Pastor Brent @ 10:17:10 AMTop
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